Inauguration Day

Welcome, all ye internet stumblers, to the Lap Hammer! This is the premier place for all sorts of useless knowledge and other assorted viscera. Honestly, its just a place for me to go off upon one of my patented tangental forays into the proverbial Pandora's Box of society. (Un)Fortunately for you, you're stuck along for the ride, so get used it and shut up. Let's begin, shall we?

Last week, in Malatya, Turkey, a strange package was left ( and subsequently discovered) on a public sidewalk near Kanalboyu Street. The police were called, who later called the bomb squad. As protocol demands when dealing with a potential explosive device of unknown origins and/or composition, the area was cordoned off and bystanders kept at bay. A brave member of the bomb squad approached the box, placed a detonator inside, and then squirreled himself in a corner a safe distance away. The detonator was ignited and the box exploded. Now this is when all the trouble began. As it turned out, the "bomb" was, in actuality, a box of kittens! Horrified onlookers were shocked as they witnessed several small kittens mewling and writhing in pain on the now charred sidewalk. Luckily, a janitor was on-hand to clean up the mess. *Whew!*

What I can't seem to wrap my mind around is what, to me, seems like a very simple observation. When the "detonator lackey", as I fondly refer to him, approached the box, don't you think he would have noticed some kind of kittenish-type noise emanating from the cube?! Kittens are not known for their silence. Playful antics and all around adorableness, yes, but silence? Not so much. My best guess is that this poor schmo was the "low man on the totem pole" so to speak, and was more concerned with not ruining his new uniform with fecal matter and shrapnel. I mean, what kind of a world do we live in when a self-respecting negligent pet owner can't leave a box full of kittens on the sidewalk? I just don't know any more.

Luckily, news crews managed to film the event as it unfolded...or exploded, as the case may be. Check it out if your curiosity demands it, but I warn you, this time: the cat does die.

Bomb Squad Vs. Kittens

Lovins,
Dezz